20 Easy Ways to Annoy Your Professor
Want to impress your professor? Then here’s a list of things for you not to do. Trust me—I used to be a professor, and if you’re looking for a way to get under your professor’s skin, here’s your guidebook!
- Whine about everything, especially your grades.
- Hand in papers with crinkled up corners instead of a staple.
- Text message your friends during class.
- Play Sudoku during class.
- Have your cell phone ring in class. Choose a loud, obnoxious, and preferably somewhat obscene ring tone.
- Send emails full of misspellings and text speak. For bonus points, address your professor as “dude.”
- If asked to participate, ignore the request. Or better yet, make tangential remarks that don’t make any sense, or semi-obscene remarks. With a little creativity, it’s easy to derail a class discussion.
- Miss deadlines, and always have a sob story for why you can’t get things in on time.
- Never proofread. Ignore spell check.
- Tell your professor that the assignment is unfair because that other professor who teaches this class doesn’t give that assignment.
- Whine about how your friends got better grades than you.
- Bargain for points on assignments and tests. Spend at least half an hour arguing about 2 points.
- Always come in late.
- Miss class frequently–and then ask questions that were answered in detail on days you weren’t there.
- Make it clear that you are doing as little work as possible to earn a C.
- Whine about your professor on a public message board.
- Email a question about tomorrow morning’s exam to your professor at 2:00 a.m.—and then act annoyed that your professor isn’t accessible enough to students.
- Look chronically bored. Pretend like you are twelve and your parents have dragged you along to a family dinner or church or something. Roll your eyes and sigh.
- Complain about your professor to other faculty members. (Yes, this will get back to your professor.)
- Never say hi or make eye contact—unless you need something, of course.